My name is Natalie and I am a recovering “Perfectionist Parent.” I wanted everything to look right, go right, be right and stay right. Little did I know, parenting doesn’t work that way.
I now help parents rediscover their passion for parenting and fall in love with their kids over and over again so they can have a happy, healthy, peaceful home.
Parenting is a tough gig and when we spend all our time trying to rally our perfection…it SUCKS!!!
I decided that I wanted to set that big ass crappy ball of crap down and learn how to parent by instinct. I was watching parents yell at their kids, threaten their kids, lie to each other about how “amazing” their parenting was and shame themselves and their kids into submission! I chose to go a different way. I chose to change my direction and to go where my heart lead me in my parenting…it lead me here. To Happy Healthy Peaceful Parenting and The KID Concept: Raising a Child with Kindness, Integrity and Dignity.
I love my life as a mom! I love the challenges and victories my parenting brings and I want to give you permission to parent from your gut as well! Some of the days are better than others. All of the days are one step in the right direction.
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I want to tell you a story.
Do you dream of stress free mornings? Do you long for fun dinners filled with great discussions and conversation? Are you tired of feeling like you’re always yelling? Do you want to find a way to love being a parent again?
I remember feeling the EXACT SAME WAY! Overwhelmed with work, family, parenting, responsibility and demands on my time. Falling into bed exhausted and frustrated most nights, beating myself up over feeling like a failure as a mom. A single parent struggling to cope with finances, a household, shift work, life in general. I was becoming a stressed and angry mom.
I was mid shout one night and stopped. Frozen mid sentence. My kids looking at me, also tired of the yelling. After all, even when I was yelling, they weren’t really listening. I paused, sat down at the table with them and put my head in my hands. I quietly said “I’m sorry.”
Where had all my joy gone? Had I truly reduced my parenting to this? Did I regret getting married and becoming a mom? Did I wish my life was different? I collected the dinner dishes and walked into my kitchen. My kids continued to sit at the table, not knowing what was coming next. See, I was not an explosive mom. I was a mom who yelled. A lot. My oldest daughter stood up and encouraged her brother and sister to help clean up. They grabbed items off the table and came into the kitchen. I gathered them into my arms, hugged them and said “Thank you.”
I tucked each one of them into bed that night. Leaning down, I kissed their foreheads and made them a promise.
“Tomorrow, it’s a new day. Tomorrow, life will be different.” They smiled up at me.
“I love you Momma” they whispered back to me.
I decided that day, to stop yelling at my kids. I decided that it was up to me to figure out how I felt and how to be a happier, healthier and more peaceful parent. I would begin again and recapture the joy and passion I had for my family.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
As I headed to bed that night, I wept great sobs of relief, mixed with disappointment and despair. How had I come so far from the parent I wanted to be? How had I allowed myself to be so overwhelmed and exhausted? Where was all my joy? I cried tears of acknowledgement that night, recognizing I was not the parent I wanted to be, yet knowing I would not ever be “this” parent I was ever again.
I know you have been there, or are there right now. I know the guilt and the shame and frustration you feel from the constant struggle to be a perfect parent. the inner voice that is relentless at pointing out all the things you do wrong and all your faults. The great sports caster that gleefully calls out your errors, rarely patting you on the back for a good day.
The next morning, my life began again. I started a new plan for my parenting. I was up 15 minutes before my kids. I sat at the kitchen table, coffee in hand and I wrote out a new schedule for my mornings. I was determined to have a happy, healthy, peaceful morning. I had to quit letting mornings happen TO ME and start flourishing in them. I wrote out a
schedule in 15 minute blocks for myself and the kids. Including everything from getting dressed, to brushing teeth and hair, to walking out the door. I woke up the kids and made them a promise, no more mad mommy!
Sure, we fumbled along some mornings. Of course we fell off the schedule from time to time. Backpacks were forgotten at the door. Lunches consisted of cheese and crackers sometimes instead of hot soup and sandwiches. Rarely were mornings “perfect”. However, we strove for EXCELLENCE. At times, my frustration would get the best of me and I could feel my voice and temperature raising. It was in those moments that I reminded myself that I was no longer ‘that mom”. As the kids got used to the new schedule and I found my groove, life was happier, healthier and more peaceful.
Life began again in our home and I found my passion.
Join me on the journey as we go from frazzled to fabulous. Learn how we can all parent with Kindness, Integrity and Dignity.